Friday, March 1, 2013

Potential Last Post

Two things are happening right now: one, Jason is out of town, and two, I am getting LASIK next week. How are these two things related? Let me tell you. It means I am getting carded every time I order a drink now. Part of the prep process for LASIK is that in order to get my eyes to their normal shape, I can’t wear contacts. Therefore I am wearing the glasses I have had since right about the time I could legally drink, and which apparently make me look even younger than that. "Oh, you're my age, you just look younger," one waiter told my sister-in-law and me.  I actually think the glasses have less to do with appearing underage than the absence of my husband. It’s not that Jason looks “old,” but he is definitely over 21, and I think the association puts servers more at ease since in addition to looking legal drinking age, he apparently must not look like a cradle robber either. I know part of it is that the restaurant business needs to do their job, and I certainly am glad they are doing their part to follow the law, but it kind of gives me a fake-underage-drinking guilt. At this point everyone older than me gets mad and says I’ll be so glad that I look younger than I am at a later point in life.

Of course, I miss Jason for more than the impact on my gastronomic life. I have had to make my own coffee, every noise at night is a burglar, and I been watching excessive amounts of Downton Abbey... not that that last one is a bad thing. Because of his schedule, I only get to talk to him once a day or sometimes every other day, usually very late at night when my brain is done thinking. I’ve started making lists of all the “practical things” I need to ask him. (Although I make these lists anyways when he is here and working 20 feet away from me. It takes extreme self control to not take advantage of working together to interrupt him every time I have a question or exciting thought. Instead, I have my list and try to just interrupt him once a day... or probably twice.)

The other thing that makes me a little worried about having Jason gone while getting LASIK is that if I go blind, I won’t have had a good last long look at his face. Instead the last time I was his face was a quick goodbye at the airport. I’ll have to look at some pictures. Luckily for me, I have some experience of how it feels to suddenly go blind. I was alone in the house one night some years ago when everything suddenly went pitch black – like, I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face black. So I had the logical thought, “Did I just go blind?” I was relieved a few seconds later to find that I could in fact see my phone light up when I hit the buttons, and the power had just gone out. (By the way, I am so sorry if anyone actually has experienced losing their sight or knows someone who has. The doctor also reassured me that while sight loss is a risk of LASIK, it is a very very one.)  Hopefully the surgery will be fine and this will not be the last post I can see to type, but in case it is, you know why.

All of that to say, I will be very relieved once my husband is home and LASIK is over. I’m not that thrilled about the surgery itself so have been wondering if stiff drink beforehand will help calm my nerves, but given the current suspicions about my drinking habits and the early nature of my appointment, downing anything stronger than espresso at 9 am might just make it worse.

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